In my last entry I was wondering about why the communities that I'm interested in are so distant from each other. Well know I know why. I have been working on my plan to host a party for the two groups (with their help of course) and have run into nothing but trouble - and I've only talked to one of them so far.
It seems that not everyone has had the same kind of leadership experience that I have had. So my assumptions about how things work in this organization are wrong. It's not that I haven't stepped on toes before (just ask my co-workers), but I've never faced a reaction like this before.
You see, I assumed that leaders would love to have enthusiastic people offering to do things for them. Not so. There is one leader out there who seems to think that it is her responsibility to do everything and may the gods forgive you if you try to do anything for her (because she won't). For this kind of leader, self starting is a character flaw not an asset. So is being strong willed and tenacious.
So for the last couple of days, instead of moving ahead in my project, I've been defending myself against all kinds of insults and slights. My intentions have been questioned. I have been treated like a child - in a way that I hope never to treat children. I have seen my fiance insulted and demeaned to the point where the only responsible choice left to him was to walk out of the room.
And I have been begged to stay and continue despite all of this.
Now I see that my mission is larger than I had thought. At first I had only wanted to bring these two communities togeter - and I still do. But first, if I want to succede, I am going to have to fix the personel problem in the first group. Not an easy task, but I hope one that I am capable of.
Of course I can't do this on my own. But I know that I'm not alone in seeing the problem - other members of the group have told me as such in private. What I need to do, is convince them to say the same things tactfully in open discussions. In places and ways where others - particularly the problem - will see what they are saying. Because I don't think that the people I have heard from are the only ones who see this problem. I think there are others out there who fear that they are alone in their feelings. If we can show them and the problem person that it is not just one or two people who are having this problem, then maybe we can convince the problem person that she needs to change.
After that, it will be all up to her.
And in the meantime, I have a party to plan.
I don't know if any of you have noticed this, but it takes a lot of work to build a community. It takes a lot of work to maintain a community. And it takes a lot of work to bring 2 communities together.
I think that a lot of people out there in the world haven't noticed this, because they aren't doing the things that build and maintain communities. Neighborhoods aren't the communities that they used to be, churches aren't the communities that they used to be. All around me I'm seeing people living in smaller and smaller circles when we all know that there are ever more of us here on this planet.
Well I've noticed that it takes a lot of work, and I've decided to do some of that work.
Lately I've been chafing at the lack of community in my life and I've finally decided that I need to just get up and do the things that will build it. I can't just sit back and hope that it will show up, I've got to be out there making it.
I've chosen two existing communities to work with - one is CUUPs and the other is http://www.firstunitariansociety.org/. These two communities are already somewhat connected (they use the same building), but they aren't as connected they need to be. And they both already have somethings that I'm looking for.
CUUPs provides worship in forms that I'm comfortable with and can feel involved in. FUS has a lot of social action programs and ways to volunteer. The only problem is that the 2 groups - even though they are very similar in a lot of ways - don't have much to do with each other. This is a problem for me. You see FUS doesn't really NEED CUUPs to continue as they are. I think they are missing out on some good opportunities not to mention some good friends. CUUPs on the other hand does need FUS - it's FUS's building and without their good will CUUPs would loose it's place to meet.
That's where I come in. See I have connections now in both groups and I can see what needs to be done. I can't do all of it - alot of what needs to be done is for CUUPs members to makes themselves known in a good way to the FUS members. What I can do is encourage people to participate in existing plans and help organize events specifically designed to mix the members together.
That's how I've found myself head of the organizing committee for the Crystal Ball - a new years eve event we hope to pull of this year that will be a joint fundraiser for both groups as well as a mixer and hopefully a truly enjoyable event for all involved. I'd love to be able to say that I got stuck with this job, but the truth is I opened my mouth and offered. You see I was so frustrated with people complaining about the situation without doing anything about it, so I decided to do something.
I have about 3 months to pull this off. I'll keep you all informed as plans come together. Perhaps you all will join me there to witness my triumph.
Wish me luck.
School started a week ago. And now I've been to both of my classes and met all of my professors, I've even talked to all of them about dates when I will have to miss class or class projects. I've turned in my first paper and taken my first quiz. Wow it's been a busy week.
Actually, I'm looking at the sylabi and am thinking that I'm going to be doing a lot of homework over the next few months. We have 10 guest speakers scheduled for Conversational ASL, and are expected to write reaction papers about them (pick 3). Then we have a CD full of conversations in ASL that we have to turn in papers about. Granted all of these papers are less than 2 pages long, but still that's a lot of papers for just one class - especially since it's a different language.
English Linguistics isn't looking that much better. After all it has been designated a writing intensive course. That means a lot of papers and such. So I have a feelilng that I'm going to be spending a lot of time at my computer typing.
On top of all that I'm still planning to keep up with my fiction writing during all this. I know from past experience that long periods of time away from my stories is hazardous to my mental health. They start ganging up on me and interupting my sleep. They will attack me in the shower or during class. Not to mention that I don't really want to put my development as a fiction writer on hold just because I'm taking classes. I'm not scheduled to graduate until 2007, that's too long to wait to get my name out there in front of SF editors. It's too long to wait to get my storied out of my head. So I'm adding writing my own stories to my homework load.
That still leave CUUPs and their request to have my us ASL during their rituals. That also adds to my homework load as I have to translate the chants and other parts into ASL, then memorize them. Then I have to get up infront of everyone and Sign along with their singing. Fortunately at this point we don't have anyone else in the group who is fluent in ASL so they all just accept my decissions about the language. That will change though and I'm sure that eventually I'm going to have to field questions about why did I decide to use that sign instead of that one.
Ah well, week one is complete and I have survived. That is an accomplishment worth noticing.
This weekend, Sweetie and I went Wedding shopping at the Minnesota Renaissance Festival . We chose this weekend because the interpreters were supposed to be there. We saw a few (including at the Dew Drop Jugglers who had to interpret the phrase "sexy juggler boy" whenever Mick decided he wanted to see her sign it). However most shows were without an interpreter. It was kind of dissapointing since we'd gone then specifically to see the interpreters.
On the bright side we had a wonderful day of shopping and bumming around. We walked a lot. We must have gone around the fest grounds at least 6 times as we went from one shop to another and back again. We managed to accomplish some things as well - like putting a down payment on our wedding rings - celtic knot work rings by Jewelry by Da’oud and our wedding costumes at New Pterodactyl Leather. The designer convinced Sweetie to get leather pants to go with the vest he is going to wear. I'm looking forward to seeing sweetie in leather pants MMMMMMMMM
As some of you may know, Sweetie and I can be excessively cute with one another. And trust me, it gets worse when we are at home alone with only the Cat and Dog to snort their dissaproval. One of the things that we do frequently is poke each other in the belly button and say "Pokedy". I bring this up because a funny thing happened. While we were waiting for the designer to deal with another sale, one of the other employees, whom we had been chatting with, turned to sweetie and poked him in the belly saying "Pokedy". My imediate reasponse was "Hey, that's my job." we all laughed. And then we realized what she'd said. Here we were thinking that was a made up word that only we used and this relative stranger uses it too. Not only that, but she used it in exactly the same way that we did. This caused even more laughter followed by a discussion about how Sweetie really is one of the best men on the planet and that he should write a "how to" book for other guys so they will learn to get it right. All of that caused Sweetie to blush beautifully and protest that penning such a book would get a hit called out on his life by all the guys whose girlfriends would hand them the book.
All in all a wonderful day at the fest was had.
School starts today. I'm taking English Linguistics (science for English majors according to my professor) and Conversational ASL. My work schedule is completely wacked out - I have split shifts on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays from now until the middle of December.
So far I've been to the Linguistics class and it's going to be a lot of work, but still it looks fun (OK so maybe I'm just a bit geeky but I've actually been looking forward to this class - deep analysis of language that goes beyond meaning and usage but includes them just sounds like fun to me). We have only one text - and it's written by the professor. That could be either a good or bad thing, we'll have to see.
I have no idea what to expect of conversational ASL - there is no text. Hmmm
At least I had a nice holiday this past weekend to rest up for the coming semester. Saturday was a Jammie day - Sweetie and I hung out and played Sacred in cooperative form. Sunday was spent in our usual way - volunteering at the nursing home chatting with the Deaf residents and then to the coffee shop where we were eventually joined by our writing group. I got a couple of good critiques of my current story and we watched the rain out the windows. Monday we went to Mom's for a barbeque with family and friends. I got to watch my Niece and Nephew run around the back yard with the dogs (mom's Vanna and our Uno). Uno even got to cuddle on Niece's lap for a good long time - one of his favorite activities.
So now I'm getting back into the swing of school and work and being far more busy than anyone should be. At least I'm not alone among my classmates who are all also too busy to breathe. I think I've finally found the school that I was meant to go to.
Last night Sweetie and I went out to take Uno for a walk. (Uno's been loving the fact that Sweetie and I are on a little bit of a health kick). We'd barely made it out our door though when we noticed that something was happening in the neighborhood.
There were cops all over the place, and neighbors standing in small groups talking in hushed tones. The focus was a particular lower level appartment. Our first thought was that it was a robbery but then we passed close enough to hear one of the conversations. The resident in that apartment was dead under unknown circumstances.
We were a little shaken, but continued on our walk. In the parking lot we noticed 2 sherrif's cars, a squad car and an unmarked car. We also walked passed another officer carrying an evidence kit coming from the next parking lot over.
That made us think that our neighbor's death may not have been natural. We discussed some of the possibilities and decided that we would need to be more vigilant about locking our door when we are home (we never leave it unlocked when we are out) then tried to forget about it.
We had a nice long walk, and Uno was getting tired by the time we got back. The first thing we noticed was that the squad car had been replaced by the medical examiner's car. More neighbors had gathered while we were gone and the cops were still all over the place. I decided to stop and talk to the neighbors while Sweetie took Uno back inside.
The current theory was that our neighbor had committed suicide, but the cops weren't so sure about that. They were doing tests and gathering evidence.
I remember her only vaguely - she didn't have a dog, but often came out to chat when the dog owners were watching the dogs run around the garden. I remember her chatting about George's garden, and helping him pull weeds when the rest of us were too busy to more than just rush passed. Now that I'm thinking about it, I haven't seen her in the last week or so. Some of the neighbors said she wasn't acting like herself recently.
It's a sad thing to think that even in a neighborhood and dense as ours that someone known to so many of us could still think herself alone enough to take her own life.