...The most terrifying words you can say to someone when they already know things aren't going well. They are also a very powerful tool when dealing with a sticky situation that should have been straight forward. They are also words that I'm usually very reluctant to use. I don't like conflict and using these words means I'm in a conflict. They also tend to make the situation with the first person worse - even as they take the situation out of that person's hands.
I have 2 examples of how these words have gotten me what I've needed today. The first was a work situation. My manager was trying to convince another clinic to quit playing games and schedule an appointment for our client. She started this project on Wednesday. Then they told her she would have to "call back on friday". So this morning she called them back and was told that they still couldn't make the appointment because the client didn't have a referral (yes she did - they'd checked that part on Wednesday). She got so frustrated by this that she handed me the phone and went for a short walk. I got the same answers for a while, until I started asking to speak to a manager, then I was told that the manager wasn't available right then, but they would get the referal and get back to me this afternoon.
This afternoon came and they didn't call back. So being the stubborn person that I am, I called again. This time they said I couldn't make an appointment because they were all booked up and I'd have to call again on Thursday. I said that wasn't acceptable, because I'd done everything they'd told me to do and I needed to make this appointment. "Not my problem" they said. Bad choice on their part. I insisted on speaking to a manger right then and they hung up on me. I called back and immediately insisted on speaking to a manager. They tried to argue and explain, but I kept on insisting that I needed to speak with the manager. Finally they put me through to her office and 2 minutes later I had the appointment I needed and a promice that she would speak to the staff about their behavior.
The second example is for a my social life. A couple weeks ago, I had a bad experience at one of our local Pubs. I talked to the manager then, but didn't get a satisfying result. So I thought about it and decided to write a letter. Today that same manager called me back, much more appologetic and promiced to make changes to see that our problems didn't happen again. I felt that she was being quite sincere and thanked her for getting back to me. We'll have to see if things do change in the future, but I feel much better about going back there now.
Good for you. Sometimes the assertive route is the best option. It's funny because in the land of Minnesota nice, people GENERALLY fall either as passive agressive or the pushy infantile 'my-way-at-all-costs'. You sound like you have the ballance down. Now if I can achieve a similar state I'd be quite pleased with myself.
Posted by: williamofoccam at March 6, 2004 11:01 AM